The committee of the Rugby Football Union have asked the general public to suggest new ways they can show their self-interest, hypocrisy and lack of dignity as they have utterly run out of their own ideas.
After an exhausting few months of showing their true colours and utter lack of morals with the goings on around the Blackett Report the RFU committee are keen to find new methods to show their lack of spine and selfishness.
“Perhaps it could be some idea about robbing a mini rugby tour fund,” said the spokesperson. “Or maybe some kind of corrupt sell off of RFU property and land for personal financial gain. If anyone has any feasible ideas please email them to the RFU. We will consider anything. We want to work with our fans to see if we can make English rugby the leading nation in the world at something. If we are going to be self-interested and immoral, let us be the most self-interested and immoral sporting body in the world. Why settle for half measures? The attitude to be the best won us glory on the field in 2003 and it can win us glory in the boardroom in 2011. We want to make FIFA look like angels in comparison to us and make Julius Caesar look like a respectable honest man compared to Martyn Thomas.”
Fans with ideas are asked to email the RFU with suggestions. The RFU reserve the right to not publish anything they receive.