This is actually beyond satire:
If the cheesy tunes of the IRFU's anthem aren't enough to make genuine lovers of music/rugby curl their toes, then watching them pimp it out to Volkswagen should.
Shudder.
Media Review
November 23, 2012
March 14, 2012
New Zealand elders...nedívejte se!
Knowing how offended the NZRFU get when the All Blacks perform their Haka and an opposing team looks at it/moves towards it/stands in a semi-circle in front of it/ignores it/asks them to do before an anthem/throw grass in the air, etc….it is probably for the best the NZRFU take little interest in Czech domestic rugby (as covered on the Terrace in February):
Proboha!
February 04, 2012
BREAKING NEWS: The great Warburton crosses to the dark side
The East Terrace is greatly saddened to report that Sam Warburton will be wearing a red scrum cap in the Six Nations (see The East Terrace’s 100% correct viewpoint on scrum caps here).
A column in the Daily Torygraph has revealed the terrible news:
“I am definitely more of a target at the breakdown these days – I am getting a lot of elbows and knees. I am really getting smashed and I am getting headaches for a couple of days after games. That’s why I now wear a head guard – I have got a special red one for the Six Nations.”
The East Terrace never thought that a man who responded so elegantly to a red card in a world cup semi-final, refuses to complain about anything and, generally, has so much class and elegance would succumb to the greatest blight of modern rugby. Especially a red one.
Please join us all in a moment of silence as we absorb this sad news.
Update: Sam Warburton will serve a one match suspension from TheEastTerrace.com ESPNScrum Fantasy team for this revelation.
February 03, 2012
Vulgar and crass examples of Rugby Football Union marketing: Exhibit #02
By An 8cm Plastic Model of Ex-England Centre Will Carling
Greetings, once again, to my fellow rugby enthusiasts.
It’s me again: The 8cm Plastic Model of Ex-England Centre Will Carling.
Nope, I’m not actually Will Carling, I’m just an 8cm Plastic reproduction of the Great Man’s image.
Today we take a look at the latest Guinness rugby promotion which has just been launched for the 2012 Six Nations.
You can usually tell a lot about someone’s taste from their love or disdain for Guinness marketing.
Some see them as well produced, inspirational pieces of film making capturing the spirit of rugby football union and the passion that surrounds it.
Non-Philistines see them as crass, tacky and exploitive.
Here is the latest:
Face painting. Golly gosh.
They used face painting, didn’t they?
A note to Guinness: it is IMPOSSIBLE, to produce a worthwhile rugby commercial if you feature fans with their face painted.
Painting up fans to look like Coco the Clown or John Wayne Macy is never a good idea. This advert lasts just ten seconds before bringing in the face paint. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can save it after that.
WHY SO SERIOUS?
And no, going for the Christopher Nolan ‘Dark Knight’ type filmography doesn’t work either (nor the ‘deep, tough’ voiceover), because it makes the clowns look less like Coco and more like The Joker.
Which I’m getting is not the angle Guinness is looking for.
In this video the English and Scottish fans look like they have a crosshair target on their face for you to punch and the Welsh fan looks like he just got knifed down a back alley and now is the unfortunate owner of a Chelsea smile.
As for the Irish fan, take a look at him. Would you want this guy shouting for your team? Really? I’d be embarrassed and start cheering on the opponents if he rocked up next to me in the stadium or in the bar and I was cheering Ireland on. And if I was a player, why, I do believe I'd throw the match.
I think the above image should become the defining Guinness/Irish rugby image whenever Ireland lose or do something wrong. It should be put up on the TV screens at the Aviva every time Ireland concede a score.
Heck, Guinness should have the free advertising. It’s so sad it’s brilliant. To cut down on Guinness marketing costs, we’ve made the advert for you:
February 02, 2012
Rugby getting more mentions than usual in Czech Republic, for some reason
For reasons not quite clear, Czech news outlets such as best selling tabloid Blesk and 'respectable' broadsheet Dnes, have been talking about rugby quite a lot these past few days.
Rugby in the Czech Republic is a minor sport and the country of 11 million people has just 17 senior teams.
However, for some reason this latest news has seen rugby massively increase its profile: http://www.ragby.cz/startuje-novy-projekt-sexy-liga
Anyone with any ideas why rugby is getting more press coverage in Bohemia, let us know.
To je divný.
Spot the floating Welshman....
The WRU have just released an image of the Welsh squad featuring players wearing the jersey of the club they started out with (or the one they felt most affinity with).
It's a lovely idea and The East Terrace approves. But can any readers spot the odd, floating, unearthly player who seems to be in another dimension (click on the image for full size)?
Who is 'floating on air'?
February 01, 2012
Vulgar and crass examples of Rugby Football Union marketing: Exhibit #01
By An 8cm Plastic Model of Ex-England Centre Will Carling
Greetings to my fellow rugby enthusiasts.
It’s me again, The 8cm Plastic Model of Ex-England Centre Will Carling.
Nope, I’m not actually Will Carling, I’m just an 8cm Plastic reproduction of the Great Man’s image. You can read more about me here and here.
Anyway, welcome to a new series looking at vulgar, kitsch, crass and poor marketing in rugby football union.
Our starting image is one which adorned (amongst other things) the cover of the 2011 and 2010 Six Nations Media Guides.
It ticks many boxes when it comes to tacky and cheap rugby marketing images:
- Group of ‘fans’ randomly (and not very convincingly) cheering something? Check.
- At least one woman? Check.
- At least one non-white person? Check.
- At least one or more fans not in official gear (France and Scotland here) as the agency producing the advert were unable to get rights from sponsors/unions? Check.
- Vomit inducing ‘rugby is our life’ feel?
- Image not needing to exist at all as they could have simply used existing photographs of real rugby players playing real games in real Six Nations championship? Check.
- At least three people in image who you wish to punch in the face? Check.
- Passionate clenched fist pose? Check.
- Facepaint? Check.
Seriously, look at this image. It almost made this plastic reproduction of a famous ex-English rugby captain abandon the sport he loves just so as not to be in anyway associated with the sport it is advertising.
We plan to collect and mock such poor examples of marketing and advertising in rugby union on The East Terrace.
We welcome feedback from our readers who have their own adverts or images that make them want throw their match programme in the bin or put a fist through their computer monitor. So, if you have any email them to us at stafford@theeastterrace.com.
Oh, and don’t bother mentioning the infamous Irish ad for Guinness (‘This is Rugby Country’). That pile of twee goes without saying. We’ll cover that.
Let us keep our game classy.
Tally-ho!
June 21, 2011
Mark Cueto again vexed by enchanted television images
English winger Mark Cueto has spoken of how he once again fell victim to the foul and enchanted workings of television after he was recently given a nine week ban by the RFU for doing ‘absolutely nothing’ (see the full and completely honest interview with Cueto by clicking here).
The stout and true yeoman, representing Sale, performed no ill befitting deeds against Northampton in April, 2011 yet, due to some mysterious witchcraft performed upon the television cameras at said match, it appeared he did in fact intentionally stick his fingers in another player’s eyes (see 0.23 onwards on the video below):
Sadly the RFU were not powerful enough to ward off the evil charms and upon viewing this depraved work they passed a wicked judgment on Cueto which did forbid him from engaging in rugby contests for nine weeks. Fortunately this ban, whilst nine weeks too long, means he can still represent England in the forthcoming World Cup.
Luckily Good Knight Austin Healy, who speaks over the television footage above, was immune to the evil charms of the malevolent spirits which spoiled the video and saw the real truth and correctly reported that nothing had actually happened. Oh woe, if only he could have been on the RFU panel which passed this cruel and most unjust sentence we would not be in this awful predicament.
The Good Sir Cueto is most well known for rightly claiming (again and again and again and again) that he scored a try in the 2007 World Cup final.
“It's irrelevant now, but as long as I live I will tell people that I scored a try,” said the unfortunate Cueto in 2007 (full interview here). Cueto also correctly claimed (and in no way showed any arrogance or bias) that all 80,000 people in the stadium that day agreed with him.
The East Terrace can only pray to the sporting gods that the evil that has befallen Mark Cueto is somehow made right and that honourable companies like Multipower Sportsfood continue to employ him as an ambassador for their company and ignore the enchanted television footage that so plagues him and would make lesser companies stay well away.
December 11, 2010
Rugby Vogue
- Images of rugby fashion. Some beautiful, some awful.
